Good morning, everyone. We have a few things to celebrate today- and it's finally giveaway time, as I’m ready to launch my studio in Buffalo!
First, I want to give a warm welcome to our newest community members who have joined over this past week. We are so happy to have you join us on this journey, and I feel blessed that you are sharing a few minutes of your Sunday mornings with us. I hope this newsletter brings much value to your spiritual and mental well-being.
For everyone interested in the giveaway, the details are at the bottom of this newsletter; good luck! I’m so excited ☺
Today, we are continuing our July discussion about resilience. Anyone who would like to catch up can do so here and here.
To briefly recap, we have been talking about adversity, our beliefs, and how our thoughts lead to our emotional reactions. Often, when it comes to adverse events, we skip over the thought process and assume that an event leads straight to our emotional response (again, this excludes major catastrophic events). This past week, we have observed our habitual emotional reactions and captured the thoughts that led us there.
This week, we are taking a closer look at deeply held belief systems. We talked about belief systems back in April (you can check it out here), but this time I wanted to discuss them in terms of resilience and how our reactions to life circumstances may be due to subconscious belief systems. These deeply ingrained beliefs mold our perception of the world, impacting our thoughts, emotions, actions, self-perception, behaviors, and- you guessed it- reactions to events in our lives. They are like a lens through which we view the world and our perceptions of reality. Everything we experience filters through this lens so quickly that we don’t even realize that it’s happening.
Our belief systems are helpful when it comes to our core values or living our lives with integrity. However, a few belief systems appear in the majority of humans and can stand in our way when it comes to resilience. In their book The Resilience Factor, Dr Reivich and Dr Shatte declare these general belief systems to be acceptance, achievement, and control.
Acceptance is the need to be liked, praised, included, and accepted by others. People who align with this belief system will pay more attention and react to interpersonal conflicts and slights with others. You know that conversation we have with someone, then go back and question if everything we said and did caused x, or made them mad, or- in unclear situations- assume everything was our fault. When we have a tendency toward an acceptance belief system, we often jump to conclusions or ‘mind-read.’
Achievement is the tendency to believe that success is the most essential thing in life. In the achievement belief system, there is a fear of failure; or rather, failure is not an option. There is a tendency to set high standards for oneself and others, then heavily focus on mistakes or imperfections. This can also look like perfectionism or tunnel vision.
Individuals who are control-oriented often hold deep-seated beliefs about the necessity of being in charge and controlling events. They are particularly reactive to situations where they lack control or cannot influence the outcomes.
There is nothing wrong with falling into any of these categories. We can also fall into more than one. The issue comes in when we allow these belief systems to run the show; we exacerbate the adversities we face. Our belief systems may also have such a hold that we repeat our emotional response patterns over and over. Being able to “check yourself” gives you the awareness to recognize when these parts are triggered and create space for yourself to pause and respond instead of subconsciously reacting.
We can’t completely eliminate our feelings and emotional responses, but we can increase our resilience to make our emotional responses far less impactful. This, in turn, will create a less intense experience in your nervous system and a much more poised position in life.
Up to this point, I have been saying that our emotional responses happen because there is a thought that happens between the event and our reaction. We spent last week tracing those thoughts and coming into a better understanding of how our thoughts impact our reactions. Now, I am adding that our thoughts also interfere with the processing of our emotions. Once we realize we are feeling something negative (consciously or unconsciously), we may do whatever we can to react, run, or hide from it to bring ourselves comfort. It’s our knee-jerk reaction to avoid pain and turn toward pleasure.
One thing I see often is women feeling like they shouldn’t have intense feelings toward a situation. This is simply not true. Your feelings are real and valid. What we want to learn for ourselves is to name the feelings that are happening but understand that we don’t need to do anything with them in the moment. Simply allow the feelings without trying to think them away or justify them.
This week, I want to challenge you to sit with your discomforts. Observe your deeply held belief systems when adversity strikes, observe how you want to initially react to a situation, and then sit with your discomfort instead of jumping to a reaction. It takes between 4-20 minutes for an emotion to process. See if you can sit with yourself and allow the feelings to run through you before doing anything about it. If you are able to identify your deeply held belief system, see if you can observe your familiar tendency to react in a certain way.
Observe all of the thoughts that come up, but don’t allow them to make any decisions. See what happens when you sit through this discomfort with yourself, and take note of everything that goes on in your mind and your emotions. As always… do this without judgment.
This practice builds our ability to flow in the moment and respond vs. react. It also builds self-love, baby!
Okay! Let’s get to giveaway time! I am opening my doors to my new space this upcoming week, and I want to celebrate by inviting new people to try Biofield therapy and see how it benefits their lives. So, I am giving away two in-person sessions in the Buffalo area. (to my virtual-distance friends, I will have something coming soon for you too!)
Rules of the giveaway:
Amazing Women of Buffalo. You have two options: you can enter via this newsletter or my Instagram @indigo_danu. Or both! The winner will be announced next Sunday 7/21.
To enter via this newsletter:
You must share this link with another woman over 18 years old in the Buffalo area and encourage them to join our community: https://bridgetclare.substack.com/about
Reply to this email to let me know when you’ve completed it. You can let them know they can join the newsletter and also share to enter! They can email me at clarebridgetrm@gmail.com
To enter via Instagram:
Must is 18 years or older, and live in the Buffalo area
Follow me on Instagram @indigo_danu
Like my giveaway post (posting this morning)
Tag 3 friends
Extra entry if you share my post to your stories and tag me.
I’ll see you next week! and good luck! I can’t wait to meet our new winners and introduce this wonderful healing modality to your world 🫶🌿.
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