Healing from Rejection
because we all need this
Happy Sunday Everyone ☀️
Today, we continue our talk on rejection by highlighting the different ways we experience it. This will bring awareness to our involvement in how we relate to ourselves, our interpersonal relationships, and even some reflection on how we treat others. Understanding these patterns can help identify areas where we might need to change our behaviors, seek healing, or develop more compassionate and healthier interactions with ourselves and others.
In last week’s article, we learned that rejection can make us feel like complete crap. If you missed it, you can catch up here. Let’s discuss some ways we face or cause rejection and what we can do to start the healing process.
How We Are Rejected by Others
Direct Rejection: Being told explicitly that you are not wanted or accepted.
Social Isolation: Being excluded from social groups, activities, or conversations.
Lack of Response or Communication: When others do not respond to your attempts to communicate or connect. This can be from anyone in any facet of your life.
Dismissal: Having your ideas, feelings, or contributions dismissed or ignored.
Betrayal: Experiencing a breach of trust, such as a friend spreading rumors or a partner being unfaithful.
Disinterest: Others lack interest in your life, achievements, or challenges.
How We Reject Ourselves
Self-Criticism: Constantly judging and criticizing oneself harshly.
Self-Sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that hinder personal success or happiness.
Negative Self-Talk: Speaking to oneself in a negative or demeaning manner.
Denying Needs and Desires: Ignoring or suppressing personal needs, desires, and emotions.
Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic standards and then feeling unworthy when they aren’t met.
Isolation: Withdrawing from others out of fear of rejection or believing that you don’t deserve connection or support.
How We Reject Others
Ignoring or Avoiding: Deliberately not acknowledging someone’s presence or avoiding interactions.
Criticism and Judgment: Pointing out faults or judging someone harshly without constructive feedback.
Exclusion: Deliberately leaving someone out of activities or conversations.
Withholding Affection or Support: Not providing emotional support or affection when it’s needed.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Indirectly expressing hostility or resentment through sarcasm, procrastination, or subtle digs.
Disrespect: Not respecting someone’s boundaries, opinions, or personal space.
When we reject people, the negative behaviors we project often come back to us in various forms, similar to the concept of karma. This can create a cycle of negative interactions and consequences, such as eroding our ability to have empathy. By understanding the impact of rejecting others, we can work towards fostering more positive, compassionate, and supportive relationships, creating a more harmonious and fulfilling social environment.
Recognizing and addressing our tendencies to reject others can lead to positive changes, such as improved relationships by strengthening and building trust, personal growth by reflecting on and changing our behavior, and greater empathy toward others in our community. Note: This is about being more mindful in your interactions. It does not pertain to people who need to be removed from your life for self-preservation or protection purposes.
Potential for Spiritual Growth
While rejection can be deeply challenging, it also offers opportunities for spiritual growth and transformation. The trick is opening your heart to allow the healing. This can feel counterintuitive since we learned last week that rejection will make us want to close our hearts up and wall ourselves off to protect ourselves from future pain.
If we can learn to keep our hearts open, we reap benefits such as deepening compassion, strengthening resilience, cultivating forgiveness, enhancing awareness, and, my favorite, encouraging our authentic selves to come through (because we shed the need for external validation).
Viewing rejection as a part of our spiritual journey and a chance for growth can transform our perspective and help us move forward with renewed purpose and strength.
Here are some ways we can begin to heal and thrive in the face of rejection:
Healing Through Being Witnessed
Seek Meaningful Connections: Surround yourself with people who truly see and understand you. Foster relationships based on mutual respect and genuine care. Don’t waste your time with people who consistently reject you. If you have to keep this someone in your life, keep those interactions minimal and stay mindful of falling into the pattern of needing to do things to impress or make this person see you. Connect with supportive friends, family, or support groups to reduce feelings of isolation and rejection.
Practice Self-Witnessing: Take time to acknowledge and validate your own experiences and emotions. Journaling, meditation, and self-reflection can help you witness your own journey with compassion.
Create Safe Spaces: Whether it's through therapy, support groups, a mentor or coach, or close friendships, find or create spaces where you can express yourself without fear of judgment.
Offer Witnessing to Others: Be present and attentive when others share their stories. By witnessing others, you create a reciprocal environment of understanding and support. This includes active listening, giving your full attention, showing empathy, and providing feedback without judgment. Open communication allows a safe space for others to express themselves. Mindful presence, showing genuine interest and care for the other person's experiences and feelings and expressing gratitude, showing appreciation for others when they share their thoughts and feelings, reinforcing the value of their contributions.
Healing Through Physical Activity
Last week, we learned about the intense impact that rejection has on our bodies. Here are some effective ways to help your body process and release the fight-or-flight chemicals:
Mind-Body Practices: Engage in activities like yoga, pilates, meditation, somatic exercises, or tai chi to reduce stress and promote relaxation.
Regular Exercise: Physical activity can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
Healthy Diet: Eating a balanced diet will support your physical health and improve your mood. You can possibly add herbal supplements, like ashwagandha or cortisol manager (with your doctor’s approval), to help move those chemicals along.
Adequate Sleep: Prioritize good sleep hygiene to ensure restful and restorative sleep.
Releasing Negative Energies: Letting go of negative emotions through journaling, energy healing, or therapy can cleanse our spiritual energy.
Boosting Endorphins: You’re already doing this through exercise and mindfulness practices, but here are a few more tricks: eating dark chocolate or spicy foods, getting sunlight for 10 minutes a day, exposing yourself to laughter, receiving human touch, getting a massage, getting some cuddle time in with your partner, if you don’t have a partner, hugging a friend for 30 seconds or more. Another awesome way is an act of kindness. Helping out a friend, volunteering, or helping someone solve a problem you are an expert on or have experience with.
Creating New Neural Pathways: Learn something new, acquire a new skill, take up a new hobby, or engage in activities that are mentally stimulating. Take up creative endeavors such as art, music, or a problem that requires creative problem-solving (like starting that new project you always daydream about). Travel and explore new territories. Change up your routine where you can. The key here is consistency. Repeating new behaviors and learning consistently over time strengthens the new neural pathways, making them more permanent. By consistently engaging in these activities, you can encourage the brain to form new connections, leading to increased cognitive flexibility, emotional resilience, and overall mental well-being.
My hope in this series is to raise awareness about the impacts of rejection in our lives and that it is completely normal to experience physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual pain when we face rejection. We don’t have to feel shame or hide when we are facing it. Rejection from one person doesn’t determine our worth, as much as we might think it does.
I hope you have a lovely Sunday! Get out today and choose inclusivity :)