Anger as Wisdom
The real meaning of anger in our lives
Hello Friends, and happy Sunday. Winter is in full force, and it’s the season of reflection. If you’re feeling the weight of the season, low energy, less sunlight messing with your mood, you’re not alone. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself by staying close to family and friends and intentionally choosing healthy activities to boost your endorphins during this time.
Our next series is all about anger. What it is, why we have it, and the many ways you can harness it to improve your life.
I thought this might be a neat topic because I feel anger is a highly misunderstood area in our lives. Half the time, we don’t even realize we are dealing with its effects, and I believe awareness of it could prevent many of the problems we experience, sometimes unknowingly.
With spring just around the corner, it’s the perfect time to explore anger.
Why, you ask? Anger is the driving force for growth and change, much like spring’s energy of renewal and forward motion. By unpacking the wisdom of anger now, we can step into the new season clear, aligned, and ready to channel its power for real transformation. Let’s use this time to prepare for the growth ahead.
Does this sound familiar? You feel a tightness in your chest, your mind races, and you can’t seem to shake the frustration that’s been building up. Maybe it’s the coworker who keeps crossing the line, the family member who doesn’t respect your boundaries, or the endless pressures that pile up day after day. You’ve been holding it together, but this uncomfortable feeling keeps simmering beneath the surface, leaving you feeling drained, disconnected, or even ashamed. That’s anger, and these moments aren’t just random—they’re your body’s way of telling you something needs attention.
But what if anger isn’t the problem? What if we look at anger from a different perspective?
What if anger isn’t just a reaction, but the key to understanding yourself better? What if it’s supposed to be used to create the changes you need to be happy and balanced? What if it’s not the source of your problem but the solution?
I think it’s time to lean in and discover what gems we can mine from the wisdom of our anger instead of ignoring it, suppressing it, or overriding it.
Anger: Understanding Its Role and Unlocking Its Wisdom
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. It’s often labeled as “negative” or something to suppress, but in truth, anger is a natural and vital part of our emotional inventory.
When channeled properly, anger is a powerful friend, offering clarity, motivation, and protection.
When anger is channeled poorly, left unexamined, or suppressed, it can lead to chronic stress, burnout, or strained relationships. We all know that burning feeling that lingers and makes you want revenge. Ugh.
That feeling right there is a sign that we’ve allowed it to go too far without hearing what it had to say.
What Is Anger?
At its core, anger is a physiological and emotional response to perceived injustice, threat, or unmet needs. It signals that something is out of alignment and calls for attention or rise to action. While anger feels overwhelming or destructive, you might be surprised to hear that anger is a messenger and not the enemy.
Part of the reason we dislike anger so much is because when we feel it, it’s uncomfortable. But there’s a reason for this. Anger is an agent of change. If you think about it, do you randomly change things in your life without being prompted? No… there is always some type of discomfort before the change.
Anger is supposed to make us feel uncomfortable, so we take action to answer the call for ourselves. Sometimes, that call may be the need to change our perspective or relax our views, and sometimes, it is the call to set boundaries or stand up for ourselves.
How do we know which call to answer? How do we find the place where action doesn’t lead to regret? How do we know what is a healthy way to respond to our anger? How can we respond without overriding our true needs?
These are the questions we will discuss throughout our series.
For today, I want to look at why anger causes so much discomfort in our bodies and begin to raise awareness around this topic by tapping into the wisdom of our own anger.
What Happens in the Body When We’re Angry?
Anger activates the body’s fight-or-flight response, preparing us to confront or address the issue at hand. Here’s what happens biologically (because, you know, we love that mind-body connection):
The Brain’s Alarm System:
The amygdala, the brain’s emotional center, detects a threat or injustice and sends a distress signal, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.
These stress hormones affect the rest of the body. For example, blood flow is diverted from the stomach, which can lead to a "knot" in the stomach or nausea. Chronic anger can weaken immune responses over time due to prolonged stress hormone activity (check out this article for more information on chronic stress hormones and their negative impact on the body).
Physical Reactions:
Heart rate and blood pressure increase to deliver oxygen and nutrients to muscles. Breathing becomes faster and shallower. Muscles tense, preparing the body for action.
Mental Changes:
Focus narrows, and dopamine is increased, helping you zero in on the perceived problem. The dopamine hit from anger can actually become addictive. Yikes.
However, the prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational decision-making) may become less active, which is why it’s harder to think clearly in the heat of anger, and why it’s always best to breathe and settle down before you take any action, so your “thinking” brain can come back online (see more in the constructive anger section of this article).
These responses are part of your body’s survival mechanism, ensuring you’re equipped to handle challenges. However, if anger is frequent or prolonged, these biological effects can take a toll on your physical and emotional well-being.
The Purpose of Anger
Anger isn’t just about frustration or rage. It has a deeper purpose:
Boundary Protection:
Anger alerts us when our physical, emotional, or mental boundaries have been crossed. It’s a signal to take action and restore balance.
Clarifying Values:
Anger can illuminate what matters most to us. If you feel angry about a specific situation, it often points to a deeper value or need that isn’t being honored.
Motivation for Change:
Constructive (not destructive) anger drives progress. Many societal changes and personal breakthroughs have been fueled by people harnessing their anger to create something better.
Constructive Anger vs. Destructive Anger
Anger itself is not inherently good or bad—it’s how it’s expressed and channeled that determines whether it becomes constructive or destructive. Here’s a breakdown of each:
Constructive Anger
Anger is constructive when processed in a healthy way and used to address problems, set boundaries, or create positive change. It’s intentional and focused on resolution or growth.
Constructive Characteristics:
Calm but firm expression.
Clear communication of needs or boundaries.
Problem-solving mindset.
Inspires action to fix injustices or improve situations.
Destructive Anger
Anger that is expressed in harmful or unregulated ways often escalates situations or damages relationships, oneself, or others. It lacks self-awareness or resolution. I repeat, it lacks resolution.
Destructive Characteristics:
Aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior.
Blaming or shaming others.
Escalation of conflict rather than resolution.
Internalization, leading to resentment or health issues.
Key Differences in Behavior
Exploring the Wisdom of Your Anger
Anger carries wisdom when we’re willing to pause and listen. Rather than reacting impulsively or suppressing it, you can use anger as a tool for self-awareness and growth. These next few weeks, I invite you to observe your anger and raise awareness around your own process with anger. Do this without judgment, guilt, or shame. We are simply exploring and taking notes.
This Week’s Awareness Exercise
Notice Your Anger:
Over the next few weeks, pay attention to when and why you feel angry.
Write down the situations, thoughts, or triggers that spark anger in you.
Where do you feel anger in your body?
Ask Yourself Questions:
What is my anger trying to tell me?
Is there a boundary being crossed? A value being ignored?
What is my natural tendency in response to anger? Am I constructive or destructive? (check off the characteristics listed above).
Practice Constructive Expression:
Find healthy ways to express your anger, such as journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or engaging in physical activity.
Reflect:
At the end of the week, take time to review your notes. Look for patterns or insights. What did you learn about yourself through your anger?
Closing Thoughts
Anger is not the enemy; it’s a guide. When we approach it with curiosity and compassion, it becomes a tool for self-discovery and empowerment. By exploring the wisdom within your own anger over the next few weeks, you’ll take the first steps toward understanding and harnessing this powerful emotion for your growth and well-being.
Remember: Anger doesn’t define you, but how you handle it can shape the life you create. Next time, we’ll explore why suppressing anger hurts and how it may be unknowingly impacting our lives. Until next time, cheers!