Hello Everyone! Welcome to another Sunday read ☀️ Today, we are continuing our series on resilience.
For all my badass boss ladies reading this (which is all of you), I wanted to take some time today to discuss why constantly achieving chips away at your awesomeness and why rest is an essential missing ingredient in the formula for power in your life.
We will discuss the physiological and psychological connection between rest and resilience. We will also learn a little bit about being vs. doing- giving ourselves permission to participate in feeling instead of consistently achieving.
Rest is vital to growing our capacity for resilience, and the relief that comes from the innumerable health benefits of resilience is profound. The benefits, which have cascading effects, include reduced stress, lower risk of depression, improved mood, enhanced problem-solving, a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, better heart health, improved sleep, healthier relationships, increased productivity, better focus, memory, and cognitive performance, and a longer and more satisfying life.
When we began this series, I also highlighted that resilience is a sacred presence in our lives—a capacity within us that allows us (as humans) to use Divine energy to make life happen for us, not to us. We can see why nurturing resilience in our lives is worth the effort.
How, then, do we begin to yield this energy to reap all the benefits above? The answer lies in giving our physiology some rest.
As humans, our psychology and physiology are deeply intertwined, forming a complex web of interconnected systems that influence our health and well-being on all levels. Situations we experience psychologically will impact our physical health, and vice versa. For example, say someone is exposed to too much stress—we all know this can lead to a heart attack.
Our society places a significant burden on women to constantly achieve, stay busy, and accumulate. And, if we are mothers, we are expected to maintain the go-to parent status (and all that it entails) while advancing in our careers- often with insufficient time to accomplish all these tasks, let alone take time for ourselves. In my work, I frequently encounter a profound sense of guilt when a woman even considers taking time for herself.
Our immune, nervous, and endocrine systems (all part of our physiology) constantly work in tandem to balance our bodies. This means if we are out of balance in one system, chances are you have secondary and tertiary effects in the other systems. This, in turn, impacts our psychological health. Imbalances break down our ability to be resilient both physiologically and psychologically. I’ve found in my personal practice that the pressures women face cause many women to experience endocrine system issues such as thyroid and reproductive organ issues (which make us tired, dealing with brain fog and lack of clarity, weight gain, etc…)
The nervous system’s ability to be resilient has a cascading effect on the rest of our body—both physically and psychologically. The nervous system is a complex network within our bodies, and I can’t begin to adequately cover everything in this article, but we can cover enough to reach our point that rest (not just achievement) is vital to maintaining our power (and awesomeness).
Let’s discuss the immune and nervous systems for a moment. Our immune system has two purposes when it comes to defending and maintaining our health: protection and cleaning house. First, the B-cells produce antibodies to protect the body from foreign invaders, and second, the T-cells patrol the cell membranes and remove old, worn-out, infected, or damaged cells (cleaning house). When we are constantly under stress, our sympathetic nervous system activity is heightened, and our bodies are in survival mode (fight or flight). Our immune system reacts to this by focusing on deploying B-cells to protect from foreign invaders and reducing the function of the T-cells, leaving us with “a dirty house”. This is why, when under prolonged psychological stress, we end up with issues like inflammation, cancer, autoimmune, hormone imbalance, and a multitude of other health issues.
Psychologically, the sympathetic nervous system is outwardly focused; it’s our drive to achieve the creative and intellectual endeavors that challenge us and can bring a sense of satisfaction. The ambition for setting and achieving goals.
When we spend too much in sympathetic nervous system activation without balancing it out, we can experience symptoms such as anxiety, depression, irritability, avoidance and compulsive behavior issues, cardiovascular diseases, chronic pain, metabolic disorders, and burnout, to name only a few.
The parasympathetic nervous system is focused inward. It is being vs. doing, feeling vs. achievement, and emotional digestion. Being vs doing is a philosophical and psychological concept that explores different ways of experiencing life and interacting with the world. We have more to our existence than always achieving. This is the time we take to tend to our souls and connect with who we really are under all the societal and cultural expectations. This is where rest comes in.
Psychologically, a balanced nervous system means enhanced self-regulation- the ability to manage impulses and emotions, leading to better self-control and decision-making, stronger mind-body connection, leading to a more harmonious and holistic state of health, increased creative problem-solving skills, reduced anxiety, stress, and depression, better sleep, increased focus, concentration, and productivity, improved mood stability, increase emotional resilience, making it easier to cope with challenges and bounce back from adversity.
Wow, how closely this list resembles the benefits of resilience. Coincidence? I think not ☺
By this point, we see how significant rest is for our power and achievement in life. In this culture, we tend to look at rest as laziness. How many of us hear a nagging voice in our head when we take time for ourselves to rest? On some kind of level, we believe if we aren’t constantly producing, then we will suffer horrible consequences, everything will be lost, and it all falls on us. The thing is, if we don’t give ourselves time to rest and digest, then we will eventually run ourselves into the ground. It’s time to let go, increase our happiness, and start prioritizing our rest so we can be the best version of ourselves. Plus, it has anti-aging benefits ;)
Don’t hate me: scrolling on social media, binge-watching Netflix, or laying around all day (unless recovering) does not count as the kind of rest we are talking about.
Here are some ways you can connect with your soul and enjoy rest in a guilt-free and life-enhancing kind of way. Try any of these activities daily for the best results:
Schedule 15 minutes of rest each day. This is perfect for my busy ladies. Treat this as sacred time. No electronics, no social media scrolling. The goal here is to quiet the mind (you can have your worries back after 15 minutes). During this time, you can pick from a myriad of activities like meditation, mindful journaling, listening to soft music, somatic exercise (example here), breathwork meditation, yin yoga, or sitting with silence (or any of the items listed below). You can put your hand on your heart and feel your heartbeat for 15 minutes (this allows you to connect to your body and calms your nervous system).
Connection with Nature: For a minimum of 10 minutes, take a slow, meditative walk or sit in nature. When in nature, practice feeling it with your heart rather than intellectualizing it with your brain. Connect with the rhythm of the environment, tune in, and become a part of the nature you are in.
Sleep: This one goes without saying: 7-9 hours a night. Sleep is unique to each of us; the amount you need depends on how well-rested you feel when you wake up. When you prioritize your sleep, you can change your life. Try it; I promise you won’t regret it.
Mindful Exercise: Activities that promote mindfulness, such as yoga, gentle Pilates, or tai chi, help regulate the nervous system by focusing the mind, moving the body intentionally, and reducing stress.
Gentle Exercise: Activities like walking, swimming, or stretching can help release tension and promote relaxation without overstimulating the nervous system. Note: Rigorous or demanding exercise does not count because that type of exercise puts us in sympathetic nervous system arousal state, which is not bad in itself, but not what we are aiming to achieve here.
Creative Activities: Engaging in creative hobbies like painting, knitting, or playing soft music is restful and soothing.
Body Work: Treat yourself. This includes massage, biofield therapy, facials, acupuncture, and anything of the sort. These are excellent options because they provide human touch, release of toxins within the body, and opening of energy channels.
I hope you are finding time to rest this summer. I will see you all next week when we will wrap up our series on resilience. Have a lovely Sunday, Ladies!